character adjustments

Well...I have moved, we give the keys away to the old house this week....life is in a new season....

I feel like the last 3 months have been a whirlwind of stress, emotions, havoc, very unsettling... I feel like we have made good descsions and bad descisions. There is consequences to both. I feel like we havent stop and rested, or been still and taken a moment to breathe.

My mind has not stoped to rest, to enjoy, to relax. I feel busy, over stimulated with people and their perspective on my life...what I dont do, or do but dont do right!

Yesterday at Church the message was to choose peace. To beaware of my tongue and what I say.....I can create hell on earth for others and or for myself. which is funny because that was exactly what I had been thinking about this week. I need to create heaven on earth with my tongue. I need to be a blessing, not a curse.

I also have been realising that I dont like confrontation. Like even in the little things such as....we were going to get a pool table and I told the people that we would take it...but have decided not to...but I dont want to tell the people we have changed our minds....I dont want them to be mad at us.
I dont Like people not being happy with me...
I have also been mulling over the thought....may your yea be yea....to stick to what you say...if you give your word then stick to your word. I volunteered at VBS last week..it was for four days.....I did three.....I felt that I needed to fullfill what I said, but I didnt.....
I need to stop and think before I say yes to something....and then go with the consequences what ever they maybe.
But then how does that work with things like the pool table, or a kitchen table that I said we would buy....I dont know...I feel so confused!

There is also the school thing.....we said we would put the kids in Private school, but now dont know what to do? $$$$ wise it would be smarter to put then in public, but we said yes to private...they are expecting us? What to do..

Anuyways this is my life as of now.....It is far from perfect.....I have decided to be honest......I am tired of not being honest that life isnt perfect and I pretending that I have it all together, because I dont....I am sorry for protraying a perfect life.....however I do believe despite our misstakes we can still be positive and give life to ourselves and others...we can learn to create heaven here on earth...but being aware of what we say...we can choose peace!